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-<title>CHAPTER XXXII</title>
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+<title>第三十二章</title>
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-<h2 class="h21"><a id="a347"></a><a id="a348"></a><a id="a349"></a>CHAPTER XXXII</h2>
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+<h2 class="h21"><a id="a347"></a><a id="a348"></a><a id="a349"></a>第三十二章</h2>
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<p class="p28"><span class="t25"><img src="images/img23.jpg" width="135" height="32" alt="img23.jpg"/></span></p>
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-<p class="p29"><span class="t29">A</span><span class="t28">RTHUR</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">ARRIVED</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">IN</span><span class="t27"> </span>town in a melancholy condition. His was a temperament peculiarly liable to suffer from attacks of depression, and he had, with some excuse, a sufficiently severe one on him now. Do what he would he could not for a single hour free his mind from the sick longing to see or hear from Angela, that, in addition to the mental distress it occasioned him, amounted almost to a physical pain. After two or three days of lounging about his club — for he was in no mood for going out — he began to feel that this sort of thing was intolerable, and that it was absolutely necessary for him to go somewhere or do something.</p>
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-<p class="p34">It so happened that, just after he had come to this decision, he overheard two men, who were sitting at the next table to him in the club dining-room, talking of the island of Madeira, and speaking of it as a charming place. He accepted this as an omen, and determined that to Madeira he would go. And, indeed, the place would suit him as well as any other to get through a portion of his year of probation in, and, whilst affording a complete change of scene, would not be too far from England.</p>
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-<p class="p34">And so it came to pass that on the morrow Arthur found himself in the office of Messrs. Donald Currie, for the purpose of booking his berth in the vessel that was due to sail on the 14th. There he was informed by the very affable clerk, who assisted him to choose his cabin, that the vessel was unusually empty, and that, up to the present time, berths had been taken for only five ladies, and two of them Jewesses.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“However,” the clerk added, by way of consolation, “this one,” pointing to Mrs. Carr’s name on the list, “is as good as a cargo,” and he whistled expressively.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“What do you mean?” asked Arthur, his curiosity slightly excited.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I mean — my word, here she comes.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">At that moment the swing doors of the office were pushed open, and there came through them one of the sweetest, daintiest little women Arthur had ever seen. She was no longer quite young, she might be eight and twenty or thirty, but, on the other hand, maturity had but added to the charms of youth. She had big, brown eyes that Arthur thought could probably look languishing, if they chose, and that even in repose were full of expression, a face soft and blooming as a peach, and round as a baby’s, surmounted by a quantity of nut-brown hair, the very sweetest mouth, the lips rather full, and just showing a line of pearl, and lastly, what looked rather odd on such an infantile countenance, a firm, square, and very determined, if very diminutive chin. For the rest, it was difficult to say which was the most perfect, her figure or her dress.</p>
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-<p class="p34">All of which, of course, had little interest for Arthur, but what did rather startle him was her voice, when she spoke. From such a woman one would naturally have expected a voice of a corresponding nature, namely, one of the soft and murmuring order. But hers, on the contrary, though sweet, was decided, and clear as a bell, and with a peculiar ring in it that he would have recognized amongst a thousand others.</p>
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-<p class="p34">On her entrance, Arthur stepped on one side.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I have come to say,” she said, with a slight bow of recognition to the clerk; “that I have changed my mind about my berth, instead of the starboard deck cabin, I should like to have the port. I think that it will be cooler at this time of year, and also will you please make arrangements for three horses.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I am excessively sorry, Mrs. Carr,” the clerk answered; “but the port cabin is engaged — in fact, this gentleman has just taken it.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, in that case” — with a little blush—”there is an end of the question.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“By no means,” interrupted Arthur. “It is a matter of perfect indifference to me where I go. I beg that you will take it.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, thank you. You are very good, but I could not think of robbing you of your cabin.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I must implore you to do so. Rather than there should be any difficulty, I will go below.” And then, addressing the clerk, “Be so kind as to change the cabin.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I owe you many thanks for your courtesy,” said Mrs. Carr, with a little curtsey.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Arthur took off his hat.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Then we will consider that settled. Good morning, or perhaps I should say <span class="t31">au revoir</span>;” and, bowing again, he left the office.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“What is that gentleman’s name?” Mrs. Carr asked, when he was gone.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Here it is, madam, on the list. ‘Arthur Preston Heigham, passenger to</p>
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-<p class="p34">Madeira.’”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Arthur Preston Heigham!” Mrs. Carr said to herself, as she made her way down to her carriage in Fenchurch Street. “Arthur is pretty, and Preston is pretty, but I don’t much like Heigham. At any rate, there is no doubt about his being a gentleman. I wonder what he is going to Madeira for? He has an interesting face. I think I am glad we are going to be fellow-passengers.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">The two days that remained to him in town, Arthur spent in making his preparations for departure; getting money, buying, after the manner of young Englishmen starting on a voyage to foreign parts, a large and fearfully sharp hunting-knife, as though Madeira were the home of wild beasts, and laying in a stock of various other articles of a useless description, such as impenetrable sun-helmets and leather coats.</p>
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-<p class="p34">The boat was to sail at noon on Friday, and on the Thursday evening he left Paddington by the mail that reaches Dartmouth about midnight. On the pier, he and one or two other fellow-passengers found a boat waiting to take them to the great vessel, that, painted a dull grey, lay still and solemn in the harbour as they were rowed up to her, very different from the active, living thing that she was destined to become within the next twenty-four hours. The tide ebbing past her iron sides, the fresh, strong smell of the sea, the tall masts pointing skywards like gigantic fingers, the chime of the bell upon the bridge, the sleepy steward, and the stuffy cabin, were all a pleasant variation from the every-day monotony of existence, and contributed towards the conclusion that life was still partially worth living, even when it could not be lived with Angela. Indeed, so much are we the creatures of circumstance, and so liable to be influenced by surroundings, that Arthur, who, a few hours before, had been plunged into the depths of depression, turned into his narrow berth, after a tremendous struggle with the sheets — which stewards arrange on a principle incomprehensible to landlubbers, and probably only partially understood by themselves — with considerable satisfaction and a pleasurable sense of excitement.</p>
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-<p class="p34">The next morning, or rather the earlier part of it, he devoted, when he was not thinking about Angela, to arranging his goods and chattels in his small domain, to examining the lovely scenery of Dartmouth harbour — the sight of which is enough to make any outward-bound individual bitterly regret his determination to quit his native land — and to inspecting the outward man of his fellow-passengers with that icy stolidity which characterizes the true-born Briton. But the great event of the morning was the arrival of the mail-train, bringing the bags destined for various African ports, loose letters for the passengers, and a motley contingent of the passengers themselves. Amongst these latter, he had no difficulty in recognizing the two Jewesses, of whom the clerk in the office had spoken, who were accompanied by individuals, presumably their husbands, and very remarkable for the splendour of their diamond studs and the dirtiness of their nails. The only other specimen of saloon-passenger womankind that he could see was a pretty, black-eyed girl of about eighteen, who was, as he afterwards discovered, going out under the captain’s care to be a governess at the Cape, and who, to judge from the intense melancholy of her countenance, did not particularly enjoy the prospect. But, with the exception of some heavy baggage that was being worked up from a cargo-boat by the donkey-engine, and a luxurious cane-chair on the deck that bore her name, no signs were there of Mrs. Carr.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Presently the purser sent round the head-steward, a gentleman whom Arthur mistook for the first mate, so smart was his uniform, to collect the letters, and it wrung him not a little to think that he alone could send none. The bell sounded to warn all not sailing to hurry to their boats, but still there was nothing to be seen of his acquaintance of the office; and, to speak the truth, he was just a little disappointed, for what he had seen of her had piqued his curiosity, and made him anxious to see more.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I can’t wait any longer,” he heard the captain say; “she must come on by the <span class="t31">Kinfauns</span>.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">It was full twelve o’clock, and the last rope was being loosed from the moorings. “Ting-ting,” went the engine-room bell. “Thud-thud,” started the great screw that would not stop again for so many restless hours. The huge vessel shuddered throughout her frame like an awakening sleeper, and growing quick with life, forged an inch or two a-head. Next, a quartermaster, came with two men to hoist up the gangway, when suddenly a boat shot alongside and hooked on, amongst the occupants of which Arthur had no difficulty in recognizing Mrs. Carr, who sat laughing, like Pleasure, at the helm. The other occupants of the boat, who were not laughing, he guessed to be her servants and the lady who figured on the passenger-list as Miss Terry, a stout, solemn-looking person in spectacles.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Now, then, Agatha,” called out Mrs. Carr from the stern-sheets, “be quick and jump up.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“My dear Mildred, I can’t go up there; I can’t, indeed. Why, the thing’s moving.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“But you must go up, or else be pulled up with a rope. Here, I will show the way,” and, moving down the boat, she sprang boldly, as it rose with the swell, into the stalwart arms of the sailor who was waiting on the gangway landing-stage, and thence ran up the steps to the deck.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Very well, I am going to Madeira. I don’t know what you are going to do; but you must make up your mind quick.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Can’t hold on much longer, mum,” said the boatman, “she’s getting way on now.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Come on, mum; I won’t let you in,” said the man of the ladder, seductively.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, dear, oh, dear, what shall I do?” groaned Miss Terry, wringing the hand that was not employed in holding on.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“John,” called Mrs. Carr to a servant who was behind Miss Terry, and looking considerably alarmed, “don’t stand there like a fool; put Miss Terry on to that ladder.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Mrs. Carr was evidently accustomed to be obeyed, for, thus admonished, John seized the struggling and shrieking Miss Terry, and bore her to the edge of the boat, where she was caught by two sailors, and, amidst the cheers of excited passengers, fairly dragged on to the deck.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh! Mrs. Carr,” said the chief officer, reproachfully, when Miss Terry had been satisfactorily deposited on a bench, “you are late again; you were late last voyage.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Not at all, Mr. Thompson. I hate spending longer than is necessary aboard ship, so, when the train got in, I took a boat and went for a row in the harbour. I knew that you would not go without me.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, yes, we should have, Mrs. Carr; the skipper heard about it because he waited for you before.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Well, here I am, and I promise that I won’t do it again.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Mr. Thompson laughed, and passed on. At this moment Mrs. Carr perceived Arthur, and, bowing to him, they fell into conversation about the scenery through which the boat was passing on her way to the open sea. Before very long, indeed, as soon as the vessel began to rise and fall upon the swell, this talk was interrupted by a voice from the seat where Miss Terry had been placed.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Mildred,” it said, “I do wish you would not come to sea; I am beginning to feel ill.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“And no wonder, if you will insist upon coming up ladders head downwards. Where’s John? He will help you to your cabin; the deck one, next to mine.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">But John had vanished with a parcel.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Mildred, send some one quick, I beg of you,” remarked Miss Terry, in the solemn tones of one who feels that a crisis is approaching.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I can’t see anybody except a very dirty sailor.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Permit me,” said Arthur, stepping to the rescue.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“You are very kind; but she can’t walk. I know her ways; she has got to the stage when she must be carried. Can you manage her?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I think so,” replied Arthur, “if you don’t mind holding her legs, and provided that the vessel does not roll,” and, with an effort, he hoisted Miss Terry baby-fashion into his arms, and staggered off with her towards the indicated cabin, Mrs. Carr, as suggested, holding the lower limbs of the prostrate lady. Presently she began to laugh.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“If you only knew how absurd we look,” she said.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Don’t make me laugh,” answered Arthur, puffing; for Miss Terry was by no means light, “or I shall drop her.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“If you do, young man,” ejaculated his apparently unconscious burden with wonderful energy, “I will never forgive you.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">A remark, the suddenness of which so startled him, that he very nearly did.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Thank you. Now lay her quite flat, please. She won’t get up again till we drop anchor at Madeira.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“If I live so long,” murmured the invalid.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Arthur now made his bow and departed, wondering how two women so dissimilar as Mrs. Carr and Miss Terry came to be living together. As it is a piece of curiosity that the reader may share, perhaps it had better be explained.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Miss Terry was a middle-aged relative of Mrs. Carr’s late husband, who had by a series of misfortunes been left quite destitute. Her distress having come to the knowledge of Mildred Carr, she, with the kind- hearted promptitude that distinguished her, at once came to her aid, paid her debts, and brought her to her own house to stay, where she had remained ever since under the title of companion. These two women, living thus together, had nothing whatsoever in common, save that Miss Terry took some reflected interest in beetles. As for travelling, having been brought up and lived in the same house of the same county town until she reached the age of forty-five, it was, as may be imagined, altogether obnoxious to her. Indeed, it is more than doubtful if she retained any clear impression whatsoever of the places she visited. “A set of foreign holes!” as she would call them, contemptuously. Miss Terry was, in short, neither clever nor strong minded, but so long as she could be in the company of her beloved Mildred, whom she regarded with mingled reverence and affection, she was perfectly happy. Oddly enough, this affection was reciprocated, and there probably was nobody in the world for whom Mrs. Carr cared so much as her cousin by marriage, Agatha Terry. And yet it would be impossible to imagine two women more dissimilar.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Not long after they had left Dartmouth, the afternoon set in dull, and towards evening the sea freshened sufficiently to send most of the passengers below, leaving those who remained to be finally dispersed by the penetrating drizzle that is generally to be met with off the English coast. Arthur, left alone on the heaving deck, surveyed the scene, and thought it very desolate. Around was a grey waste of tossing waters, illumined here and there by the setting rays of an angry sun, above, a wild and windy sky, with not even a sea-gull in all its space, and in the far distance a white and fading line, which was the shore of England.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Faint it grew, and fainter yet, and, as it disappeared, he thought of Angela, and a yearning sorrow fell upon him. When, he wondered sadly, should he again look into her eyes, and hold that proud beauty in his arms; what fate awaited them in the future that stretched before them, dim as the darkening ocean, and more uncertain. Alas! he could not tell, he only felt that it was very bitter to be parted thus from her to whom had been given his whole heart’s love, to know that every fleeting moment widened a breach already far too wide, and not to know if it would again be narrowed, or if this farewell would be the last. Then he thought, if it should be the last, if she should die or desert him, what would his life be worth to him? A consciousness within him answered, “nothing.” And, in a degree, his conclusion was right; for, although it is, fortunately, not often in the power of any single passion to render life altogether worthless; it is certain that, when it strikes in youth, there is no sickness so sore as that of the heart; no sorrow more keen, and no evil more lasting than those connected with its disappointments and its griefs. For other sorrows, life has salves and consolations, but a noble and enduring passion is not all of this world, and to cure its sting we must look to something beyond this world’s quackeries. Other griefs can find sympathy and expression, and become absorbed little by little in the variety of love’s issues. But love, as it is, and should be understood — not the faint ghost that arrays itself in stolen robes, and says, “I am love,” but love the strong and the immortal, the passkey to the happy skies, the angel cipher we read, but cannot understand — such love as this, and there is none other true, can find no full solace here, not even in its earthly satisfaction.</p>
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-<p class="p34">For still it beats against its mortal bars and rends the heart that holds it; still strives like a meteor flaming to its central star, or a new loosed spirit seeking the presence of its God, to pass hence with that kindred soul to the inner heaven whence it came, there to be wholly mingled with its other life and clothed with a divine identity: — there to satisfy the aspirations that now vaguely throb within their fleshly walls, with the splendour and the peace and the full measure of the eternal joys it knows await its coming.</p>
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-<p class="p34">And is it not a first-fruit of this knowledge, that the thoughts of those who are plunged into the fires of a pure devotion fly upwards as surely as the sparks? Nothing but the dross, the grosser earthly part is purged away by their ever-chastening sorrow, which is, in truth, a discipline for finer souls. For did there ever yet live the man or woman who, loving truly, has suffered, and the fires burnt out, has not risen Phoenix-like from their ashes, purer and better, and holding in the heart a bright, undying hope? Never; for these have walked bare-footed upon the holy ground, it is the flames from the Altar that have purged them and left their own light within! And surely this holds also good of those who have loved and lost, of those who have been scorned or betrayed; of the suffering army that cry aloud of the empty bitterness of life and dare not hope beyond. They do not understand that having once loved truly it is not possible that they should altogether lose: that there is to their pain and the dry-rot of their hopes, as to everything else in Nature, an end object. Shall the soul be immortal, and its best essence but a thing of air? Shall the one thought by day and the one dream by night, the ethereal star which guides us across life’s mirage, and which will still shine serene at the moment of our fall from the precipice of Time: shall this alone, amidst all that makes us what we are, be chosen out to see corruption, to be cast off and forgotten in the grave? Never! There, by the workings of a Providence we cannot understand, that mighty germ awaits fruition. There, too, shall we know the wherefore of our sorrow at which, sad-eyed, we now so often wonder: there shall we kiss the rod that smote us, and learn the glorious uses and pluck the glowing fruits of an affliction, that on earth filled us with such sick longing, and such an aching pain.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Let the long-suffering reader forgive these pages of speculative writing, for the subject is a tempting one, and full of interest for us mortals. Indeed, it may chance that, if he or she is more than five-and-twenty, these lines may even have been read without impatience, for there are many who have the memory of a lost Angela hidden away somewhere in the records of their past, and who are fain, in the breathing spaces of their lives, to dream that they will find her wandering in that wide Eternity where “all human barriers fall, all human relations end, and love ceases to be a crime.”</p>
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+<p class="p29"><span class="t29">亚</span><span class="t28">瑟</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">抵</span><span class="t27">达</span><span class="t28">城</span><span class="t27">镇</span>时，整个人都笼罩在忧郁之中。他天性本就多愁善感，而此刻更是陷入了难以排遣的低落情绪。无论怎样努力，他始终无法摆脱对安吉拉的思念——这种煎熬不仅是精神上的折磨，甚至演变成了近乎肉体上的痛苦。在俱乐部里百无聊赖地晃荡了两三天后（他根本没有心情外出），他终于意识到这种状态不能再持续下去，必须得做些什么来摆脱困境。</p>
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+<p class="p34">恰巧就在他做出这一决定后，他在俱乐部餐厅里听到邻桌两位男士谈论马德拉岛，称其为风光旖旎之地。他将此视为征兆，当即决定前往马德拉。事实上，这地方确实很适合他——既能度过部分考验期，又能彻底换个环境，而且距离英格兰也不算太远。</p>
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+<p class="p34">就这样，次日亚瑟来到了唐纳德·柯里公司的办公室，打算预订14日启程那班船的舱位。那位帮他挑选客舱的职员十分和蔼，告知他这班船出奇地空，截至目前仅有五位女士订票，其中两位还是犹太裔。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“不过，”职员又安慰似地补充道，一边指着名单上卡尔太太的名字，“这位可抵得上一整船货呢。”他意味深长地吹了声口哨。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“你这话是什么意思？”亚瑟问道，他的好奇心被微微勾起。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我是说——天哪，她来了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">就在那时，办公室的弹簧门被推开了，走进来一位亚瑟见过的最甜美、最精致的小女人。她已不再年轻，可能有二十八九岁或三十岁，但另一方面，成熟反而为她的青春魅力增色不少。她有一双棕色的大眼睛，亚瑟觉得这双眼睛如果愿意，可能会显得慵懒迷人，即使在平静时也充满表情，一张像桃子一样柔软红润的脸，圆润得像个婴儿的脸，上面覆盖着一头栗棕色的秀发，一张最甜美的嘴，嘴唇相当丰满，微微露出一排珍珠般的牙齿，最后，在这张娃娃脸上看起来有些奇怪的是，一个坚定、方正、非常果断，尽管非常小巧的下巴。除此之外，很难说她的身材和她的衣着哪一个更完美。</p>
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+<p class="p34">当然，这一切对亚瑟来说都索然无趣。但真正令他吃惊的是她开口时的嗓音——从这样一位女子身上，人们自然会期待与之相配的柔和低语般的声线。然而恰恰相反，她的声音虽然甜美，却如银铃般清脆果断，带着某种独特的颤音，即便混杂在千万人声中他也能立刻辨认出来。</p>
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+<p class="p34">她一进门，亚瑟就退到一旁。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我来是想说，”她微微向办事员点头致意道，“关于舱位我改变主意了，不要右舷甲板舱房，我想换成左舷的。我认为这个季节那边会更凉爽些。另外，请安排三匹马。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"实在万分抱歉，卡尔夫人，"办事员答道，"但左舷舱房已被预定——事实上，这位先生刚刚订下了它。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，如果是那样的话”——她微微脸红——“问题就到此为止了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“绝对不行，”亚瑟打断道，“我去哪儿都无所谓。请你务必收下。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，谢谢。你真是太好了，但我不能想着占用你的船舱。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我恳请您务必这么做。与其有任何不便，不如让我去下层舱位。”接着，他对办事员说道：“劳烦您帮我换个舱位。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“承蒙您的礼遇，我实在感激不尽。”卡尔夫人微微屈膝行礼道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">亚瑟摘下了他的帽子。</p>
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+<p class="p34">"那么我们就这么定了。早上好，或者我该说<span class="t31">再会</span>；"他再次鞠躬后离开了办公室。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“那位先生叫什么名字？”等他走后，卡尔太太问道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“夫人，名单上写着呢。‘亚瑟·普雷斯顿·海厄姆，乘客前往</p>
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+<p class="p34">马德拉。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“亚瑟·普雷斯顿·海厄姆！”卡尔夫人沿着芬丘奇街走向自己的马车时，心中默念着。“亚瑟这名字不错，普雷斯顿也挺好，但海厄姆就不怎么讨喜了。不过毫无疑问，他是个绅士。他去马德拉群岛做什么呢？那张脸倒有几分意思。能和他同船共渡，想来是件乐事。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">亚瑟在城里剩下的两天时间都用来为启程做准备：筹措资金，按照即将远航异国的英国年轻人惯常的做法，购买了一把硕大且锋利得吓人的猎刀——仿佛马德拉群岛是野兽出没之地，还囤积了各式各样毫无用处的物品，比如密不透风的遮阳帽和皮外套。</p>
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+<p class="p34">轮船定于周五正午启航。周四傍晚，他搭乘邮政列车离开帕丁顿，约莫午夜时分抵达达特茅斯。码头上，他与一两位同船旅客发现有条小船正等候将他们送往那艘巨轮——当小艇划近时，那艘漆着暗灰色的大船静静停泊在港口，庄严而沉寂，与二十四小时后注定要展现的生机勃勃模样判若两物。铁质船身外退潮的海水翻涌，清新强烈的海风扑面而来，高耸的桅杆如巨人手指直指苍穹，驾驶台的钟声叮当作响，睡眼惺忪的乘务员与闷热的舱房——这一切都打破了日常生活的单调乏味，让他不由觉得：即便没有安吉拉的陪伴，生活倒也尚有几分滋味。诚然，人类终究是环境的造物，极易受周遭影响。几小时前还深陷沮丧的阿瑟，此刻在与被单一番激烈搏斗后（这些被单的铺法遵循着令旱鸭子们费解的原则，恐怕连乘务员自己也是一知半解），竟心满意足地钻进狭窄铺位，带着愉悦的兴奋感进入了梦乡。</p>
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+<p class="p34">翌日清晨——确切说是破晓时分——当他不思念安吉拉时，便把时间用于整理舱房内的细软、欣赏达特茅斯港的如画风光（这景致足以令任何远航者痛悔离乡决定），以及用不列颠人与生俱来的冷漠神情打量同船旅客的仪表。但晨间最重大的事件莫过于邮车抵达，运来了寄往非洲各港口的邮袋、旅客的零散信件，以及形形色色的新乘客。他轻易认出了售票员提及的那对犹太姐妹，她们由两名男子陪同——想必是丈夫——那些人钻石袖扣的华光与指甲缝的污垢同样醒目。头等舱另一位女性乘客是个约莫十八岁的黑眸俏丽姑娘，后来他得知她是受船长监护前往开普敦担任家庭教师，但从她愁云密布的面容判断，这姑娘对前程并不乐观。然而除了起重机正从货船吊运的几件笨重行李，以及甲板上刻着她名字的奢华藤椅外，卡尔夫人依然杳无踪迹。</p>
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+<p class="p34">不久后，事务长派来了乘务长——那位制服笔挺得让亚瑟误以为是大副的绅士——来收取信件。想到唯独自己无信可寄，他不禁心头一紧。登船铃响起，催促所有非乘客离船，可办公室那位熟人的身影始终未现。说实话，他心底泛起一丝失落，先前那惊鸿一瞥已撩动他的好奇心，此刻他正渴望着能再多看她几眼。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我不能再等了，”他听见船长说道，“她必须搭乘<span class="t31">金方斯号</span>过来。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">时钟指向正午十二点整，最后一根系泊绳索正被解开。机舱铃声"叮叮"作响，巨大的螺旋桨开始"突突"转动，这节奏将在无数个不眠小时里持续不休。整艘巨轮如同惊醒的睡梦者般震颤着船体，随着生命力的注入，缓缓向前挪动了一两英寸。这时，一位水手长带着两名水手前来收起舷梯，突然有艘小艇疾驰而来钩住大船。亚瑟一眼就认出了坐在船尾掌舵的卡尔太太——她笑得如同欢乐女神般明媚。小艇上其他不苟言笑的乘客，他猜测是她的仆从，以及乘客名单上那位戴着眼镜、神情严肃的胖女士——特里小姐。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“好了，阿加莎，”卡尔太太从船尾座位喊道，“动作快点，跳上来。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“亲爱的米尔德里德，我不能上去；真的不行。哎呀，那东西在动呢。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“但您必须自己上来，不然就用绳子把您拉上来。来，我给您带路。”她边说边向船尾移动，趁着浪涌抬升船身的瞬间，勇敢地跃入那位守候在舷梯平台的水手强壮的臂弯中，随即跑上台阶登了甲板。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“很好，我要去马德拉岛。我不知道你打算做什么；但你必须快点做决定。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“撑不了多久了，妈，”船夫说道，“她现在走得很快。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“来吧，妈妈；我不会让你进来的，”梯子上的男人诱惑地说道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哎呀，天哪，我该怎么办？”特里小姐呻吟着，那只没用来抓紧的手不停地绞扭着。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“约翰，”卡尔太太朝特瑞小姐身后一个面露惊慌的仆人喊道，“别像个傻子似的杵在那儿，快把特瑞小姐扶上梯子。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">卡尔夫人显然习惯了令行禁止，在她的呵斥下，约翰一把抓住又踢又叫的泰瑞小姐，将她拖到船舷边。两名水手接住这个挣扎不休的姑娘，在乘客们兴奋的喝彩声中，硬生生把她拽上了甲板。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哎呀！卡尔太太，”当特里小姐被稳妥地安置在长椅上后，大副用责备的语气说道，“您又迟到了；上次航行您就迟到过。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“一点也不，汤普森先生。我讨厌在船上多待片刻，所以火车一到，我就租了条小船去港口划船了。我知道您肯定不会丢下我开船的。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，是的，我们本该等您的，卡尔太太；船长听说这事是因为他之前就等过您一回。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“好吧，我在这儿，我保证不会再犯了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">汤普森先生笑了笑，继续向前走去。这时卡尔夫人注意到了亚瑟，向他点头致意后，两人便聊起了轮船驶向公海途中所见的风景。不过这番谈话很快就被打断了——当船身开始随着海浪起伏时，特里小姐的座位上传来了一声动静。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“米尔德里德，”它说道，“我真希望你别出海；我开始觉得不舒服了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“这也不奇怪，谁让你非要头朝下爬梯子。约翰在哪儿？他会带你去你的船舱；就在甲板上，挨着我的那间。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">但约翰带着一个包裹消失了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">"米尔德里德，求你快派人来，"特里小姐用预感危机将至的凝重语气说道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“除了一个脏兮兮的水手，我谁也没看见。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“请允许我，”亚瑟上前解围道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">"你真是太好了；但她走不了路。我了解她的习惯，她已经到了必须被人抱着的阶段。你能应付得了她吗？"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我想可以，”亚瑟回答，“只要你不介意扶住她的腿，并且船身不摇晃的话。”说着，他用力将特里小姐像抱婴儿一样托起，踉跄地朝指定的船舱走去。卡尔夫人按照建议，托着这位瘫软女士的下肢。不一会儿，她突然笑了起来。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“要是你知道我们看起来有多可笑就好了。”她说道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“别逗我笑，”亚瑟气喘吁吁地回答，因为特里小姐一点也不轻，“否则我会把她摔下来的。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“你要是敢那么做，年轻人，”他背上那个看似昏迷的人突然以惊人的力气喊道，“我永远都不会原谅你。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">一句突如其来的话让他吓得差点就这么做了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“谢谢。现在请让她完全平躺。在抵达马德拉群岛抛锚前，她不会再起来了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“如果我活得那么久的话，”病人喃喃低语道。</p>
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+<p class="p34">亚瑟鞠躬告辞，心中疑惑为何像卡尔夫人和特里小姐这样性格迥异的两位女士会住在一起。既然读者可能也有同样的好奇，或许最好在此说明缘由。</p>
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+<p class="p34">特里小姐是卡尔太太已故丈夫的一位中年亲戚，因一连串的不幸遭遇而陷入赤贫。米尔德里德·卡尔得知她的困境后，立刻以她特有的善心伸出援手——不仅替她还清债务，还将她接回家中同住。从此这位亲戚便以"陪伴者"的身份留了下来。这两位共同生活的女士除却都对甲虫有些间接兴趣外，可谓毫无共同之处。对于旅行，在同一个郡镇的同一栋房子里生活到四十五岁的特里小姐，正如人们所想的那样深恶痛绝。事实上，那些游历过的地方在她脑海中恐怕连模糊印象都没留下。"尽是些外国破地方！"她总这么轻蔑地形容。简而言之，特里小姐既不聪慧也缺乏主见，但只要能与她敬爱的米尔德里德相伴——这份感情混杂着敬畏与依恋——她就心满意足。奇妙的是，卡尔太太对这位姻亲表妹阿加莎·特里的疼爱，竟也胜过世上任何人。实在难以想象还有比她们差异更大的两个人了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">他们离开达特茅斯不久，午后便阴云密布。临近傍晚时分，海风渐强，大多数乘客都躲进了船舱。剩下的几位也终被英格兰沿海常见的刺骨细雨驱散。亚瑟独自留在起伏的甲板上环顾四周，只觉满目苍凉——周遭是波涛汹涌的灰暗海面，偶有落日余晖如怒火般点亮浪尖；头顶狂风肆虐的天空中连一只海鸥也无；远方那道渐渐淡去的白线，正是英格兰的海岸。</p>
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+<p class="p34">那光芒渐渐微弱，越来越微弱。当它消失时，他想起了安吉拉，一种渴望的悲伤笼罩着他。他忧伤地思忖着：何时才能再次凝视她的双眸，将那骄傲的美拥入怀中？在他们面前延伸的未来，如同渐暗的海洋般朦胧，更加难以预测，等待着他们的是怎样的命运？唉！他无从知晓。他只感到，与占据他全部真心的她如此分离，知道每一刻飞逝都在扩大本已太宽的裂痕，却不知这裂痕能否再次弥合，抑或这次离别就是永诀——这一切都苦涩难当。继而他想，倘若真是永诀，倘若她死去或抛弃他，他的生命还有何价值？内心的声音答道："毫无价值。"在某种程度上，他的结论是对的。因为，尽管幸运的是，单一的情感很少能彻底剥夺生命的价值；但可以肯定的是，当它击中青春时，没有比心病更痛的病痛，没有比失望和悲伤更尖锐的悲哀，也没有比与之相关的不幸更持久的祸患。对于其他悲伤，生活自有药膏和慰藉；但一种高尚而持久的情感并非完全属于此世，要治愈它的刺痛，我们必须寻求超越世间庸医之术的良方。其他悲伤可以获得同情和表达，并在爱的种种结果中逐渐消融。但爱本身，以及它应有的理解——不是那披着偷来衣袍、自称"我是爱"的虚弱幽灵，而是那强大不朽的爱，通往幸福天堂的万能钥匙，我们读到却无法理解的天使密码——这样的爱，除此之外别无真爱，在此世间找不到完全的慰藉，甚至在其尘世的满足中也寻不见。</p>
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+<p class="p34">因为它依然撞击着凡俗的牢笼，撕裂禁锢它的心脏；依然如同划向中心恒星的火流星，或是新获自由的灵魂追寻上帝的踪迹，渴望着与那同源之灵一同回归原初的内在天国——在那里与另一种生命完全交融，披上神圣的同一外衣：以此刻在血肉之躯中朦胧悸动的全部渴望，去迎接那已知的、等候着它的永恒荣光、至臻安宁与无上喜乐。</p>
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+<p class="p34">这认知的第一果实，不正是那些投身于纯净虔诚之火的人们，其思绪必如火星般向上飞升吗？唯有渣滓，那些粗重的尘世部分，才被他们不断淬炼的悲伤所净化——这悲伤实则是高尚灵魂的修行。试问世间可曾有过真心相爱、历经苦难、待火焰燃尽后，未如凤凰涅槃般从灰烬中重生，变得更纯净美好，心怀永恒璀璨希望之人？从未有过；因这些人曾赤足踏过圣地，是祭坛之火净化了他们，并将内在之光永驻心间！此理同样适用于那些爱而不得者，遭轻蔑背叛者，以及那支哭喊生命虚妄之苦、不敢奢望彼岸的受难大军。他们尚未领悟：既然曾经真心爱过，就绝不可能全然失去；正如自然界万物，他们的痛苦与希望腐朽亦有其终极意义。灵魂既可不朽，其精髓岂能仅如云烟？那白昼萦绕的思绪，黑夜徘徊的梦境，那指引我们穿越生命海市蜃楼的缥缈星辰，纵使我们从时间悬崖坠落时仍将宁静闪耀——难道在构成我们本质的一切中，唯独它被拣选出来腐朽，被抛弃遗忘于坟墓？绝不！在难以参透的天意运作下，那伟大的萌芽正等待结果。彼时我们终将明白如今泪眼婆娑屡屡追问的悲伤缘由：我们将亲吻责打过我们的刑杖，领悟苦难的荣耀功用，采撷灼热果实——正是这曾让我们充满病态渴望与钻心疼痛的苦难。</p>
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+<p class="p34">恳请饱受煎熬的读者宽宥这几页遐思漫笔，因这主题着实诱人，对我们凡夫俗子充满致命吸引力。若阁下年逾廿五，这些文字或许竟能令君静心品读——多少人的记忆深处都藏着一位失落的安吉拉，在人生喘息之际，总不禁幻想能在永恒之境寻得她的身影，那里"一切人为藩篱尽毁，所有人世羁绊皆终，爱恋再非罪愆"。</p>
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