|
|
@@ -10,88 +10,104 @@
|
|
|
<body>
|
|
|
<h2 class="h21"><a id="a323"></a><a id="a324"></a><a id="a325"></a>CHAPTER XXIV</h2>
|
|
|
<p class="p28"><span class="t25"><img src="images/img23.jpg" width="135" height="32" alt="img23.jpg"/></span></p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p29"><span class="t29">N</span><span class="t28">EXT</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">MORNING</span><span class="t27">, </span><span class="t28">WHEN</span><span class="t27"> </span>they met at their eight o’clock breakfast, Arthur noticed that Angela was distressed about something.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p29">“There is bad news,” she said, almost before he greeted her; “my cousin George is very ill with typhus fever.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Indeed!” remarked Arthur, rather coolly.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Well, I must say it does not appear to distress you very much.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“No, I can’t say it does. To be honest, I detest your cousin, and I don’t care if he is ill or not; there.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">As she appeared to have no reply ready, the subject then dropped.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">After breakfast Angela proposed that they should walk — for the day was again fine — to the top of a hill about a mile away, whence a view of the surrounding country could be obtained. He consented, and on the way told her of his curious experiences with her father on the previous night. She listened attentively, and, when he had finished, shook her head.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“There is,” she said, “something about my father that separates him from everybody else. His life never comes out into the sunlight of the passing day, it always gropes along in the shadow of some gloomy past. What the mystery is that envelops him I neither know nor care to inquire; but I am sure that there is one.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“How do you explain the shadows?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I believe your explanation is right; they are, under certain conditions of light, thrown by a tree that grows some distance off. I have seen something that looks like figures on that wall myself in full daylight. That he should interpret such a simple thing as he does shows a curious state of mind.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“You do not think, then,” said Arthur, in order to draw her out, “that it is possible, after all, he was right, and that they were something from another place? The reality of his terror was almost enough to make one believe in them, I can tell you.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“No, I do not,” answered Angela, after a minute’s thought. “I have no doubt that the veil between ourselves and the unseen world is thinner than we think. I believe, too, that communication, and even warnings sometimes, under favourable conditions, or when the veil is worn thin by trouble or prayer, can pass from the other world to ourselves. But the very fact of my father’s terror proves to me that his shadows are nothing of the sort, for it is hardly possible that spirits can be permitted to come to terrify us poor mortals; if they come at all, it is in love and gentleness, to comfort or to warn, and not to work upon our superstitions.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“You speak as though you knew all about it; you should join the new Ghost Society,” he answered, irreverently, sitting himself down on a fallen tree, an example that she followed.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I have thought about it sometimes, that is all, and, so far as I have read, I think that my belief is a common one, and what the Bible teaches us; but, if you will not think me foolish, I will tell you something that confirms me in it. You know that my mother died when I was born; well, it may seem strange to you, but I am convinced that she is sometimes very near me.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Do you mean that you see or hear her?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“No, I only feel her presence; more rarely now, I am sorry to say, as</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">I grow older.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“How do you mean?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I can hardly explain what I mean, but sometimes — it may be at night, or when I am sitting alone in the daytime — a great calm comes upon me, and I am a changed woman. All my thoughts rise into a higher, purer air, and are, as it were, tinged with a reflected light; everything earthly seems to pass away from me, and I feel as though fetters had fallen from my soul, and I <span class="t31">know</span> that I am near my mother. Then everything passes, and I am left myself again.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“And what are the thoughts you have at these times?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Ah! I wish I could tell you; they pass away with her who brought them, leaving nothing but a vague after-glow in my mind like that in the sky after the sun has set. But now look at the view; is it not beautiful in the sunlight? All the world seems to be rejoicing.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">Angela was right; the view was charming. Below lay the thatched roofs of the little village of Bratham, and to the right the waters of the lake shone like silver in the glancing sunlight, whilst the gables of the old house, peeping out from amongst the budding foliage, looked very picturesque. The spring had cast her green garment over the land; from every copse rang out the melody of birds, and the gentle breeze was heavy with the scent of the unnumbered violets that starred the mossy carpet at their feet. In the fields where grew the wheat and clover, now springing into lusty life, the busy weeders were at work, and on the warm brown fallows the sower went forth to sow. From the early pastures beneath, where purled a little brook, there came a pleasant lowing of kine, well-contented with the new grass, and a cheerful bleating of lambs, to whom as yet life was nothing but one long skip. It was a charming scene, and its influence sank deep into the gazers’ hearts.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“It is depressing to think,” said Arthur, rather sententiously, but really chiefly with the object of getting at his companion’s views, “that all this cannot last, but is, as it were, like ourselves, under sentence of death.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> ”It rose and fell and fleeted</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Upon earth’s troubled sea,</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> A wave that swells to vanish</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Into eternity.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Oh! mystery and wonder</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Of wings that cannot fly,</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Of ears that cannot hearken,</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Of life that lives — to die!”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">quoth Angela, by way of comment.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Whose lines are those?” asked Arthur. “I don’t know them.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“My own,” she said, shyly; “that is, they are a translation of a verse of a Greek ode I wrote for Mr. Fraser. I will say you the original, if you like; I think it better than the translation, and I believe that it is fair Greek.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Thank you, thank you, Miss Blue-stocking; I am quite satisfied with your English version. You positively alarm me, Angela. Most people are quite content if they can put a poem written in English into Greek; you reverse the process, and, having coolly given expression to your thoughts in Greek, condescend to translate them into your native tongue. I only wish you had been at Cambridge, or — what do they call the place? — Girton. It would have been a joke to see you come out double-first.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Ah!” she broke in, blushing, “you are like Mr. Fraser, you overrate my acquirements. I am sorry to say I am not the perfect scholar you think me, and about most things I am shockingly ignorant. I should indeed be silly if, after ten years’ patient work under such a scholar as Mr. Fraser, I did not know some classics and mathematics. Why, do you know, for the last three years that we worked together, we used as a rule to carry on our ordinary conversations during work in Latin and Greek, month and month about, sometimes with the funniest results. One never knows how little one does know of a dead language till one tries to talk it. Just try to speak in Latin for the next five minutes, and you will see.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Thank you, I am not going to expose my ignorance for your amusement,</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">Angela.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">She laughed.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“No,” she said, “it is you who wish to amuse yourself at my expense by trying to make me believe that I am a great scholar. But what I was going to say, before you attacked me about my fancied acquirements, was that, in my opinion, your remark about the whole world being under sentence of death, was rather a morbid one.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Why? It is obviously true.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Yes, in a sense; but to my mind this scene speaks more of resurrection than of death. Look at the earth pushing up her flowers, and the dead trees breaking into beauty. There is no sign of death there, but rather of a renewed and glorified life.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Yes, but there is still the awful <span class="t31">fact</span> of death to face; Nature herself has been temporarily dead before she blooms into beauty; she dies every autumn, to rise again in the same form every spring. But how do we know in what form <span class="t31">we</span> shall emerge from the chrysalis? As soon as a man begins to think at all, he stands face to face with this hideous problem, to the solution of which he knows himself to be drawing daily nearer. His position, I often think, is worse than that of a criminal under sentence, because the criminal is only being deprived of the employment of a term, indefinite, indeed, but absolutely limited; but man at large does not know of what he is deprived, and what he must inherit in the aeons that await him. It is the uncertainty of death that is its most dreadful part, and, with that hanging over our race, the wonder to me is not only that we, for the most part, put the subject entirely out of mind, but that we can ever think seriously of anything else.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I remember,” answered Angela, “once thinking very much in the same way, and I went to Mr. Fraser for advice. ‘The Bible,’ he said, ‘will satisfy your doubts and fears, if only you will read it in a right spirit.’ And indeed, more or less, it did. I cannot, of course, venture to advise you, but I pass his advice on; it is that of a very good man.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Have you, then, no dread of death, or, rather, of what lies beyond it?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">She turned her eyes upon him with something of wonder in them.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“And why,” she said, “should I, who am immortal, fear a change that I know has no power to harm me, that can, on the contrary, only bring me nearer to the purpose of my being? Certainly I shrink from death itself, as we all must, but of the dangers beyond I have no fear. Pleasant as this world is at times, there is something in us all that strives to rise above it, and, if I knew that I must die within this hour, I <span class="t31">believe</span> that I could meet my fate without a qualm. I am sure that when our trembling hands have drawn the veil from Death, we shall find His features, passionless indeed, but very beautiful.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">Arthur looked at her with astonishment, wondering what manner of woman this could be, who, in the first flush of youth and beauty, could face the great unknown without a tremor. When he spoke again, it was with something of envious bitterness.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Ah! it is very well for you, whose life has been so pure and free from evil, but it is different for me, with all my consciousness of sins and imperfections. For me, and thousands like me, strive as we will, immortality has terrors as well as hopes. It is, and always will be, human to fear the future, for human nature never changes. You know the lines in ‘Hamlet.’ It is</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> ”‘that the dread of something after death, —</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> The undiscovered country from whose bourn</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> No traveller returns, — puzzles the will</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> And makes us rather bear those ills we have</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Than fly to others that we know not of.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34"> Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.’</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“They are true, and, while men last, they always will be true.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Oh! Arthur,” she answered, earnestly, and for the first time addressing him in conversation by his Christian name, “how limited your trust must be in the mercy of a Creator, whose mercy is as wide as the ocean, that you can talk like that! You speak of me, too, as better than yourself — how am I better? I have my bad thoughts and do bad things as much as you, and, though they may not be the same, I am sure they are quite as black as yours, since everybody must be responsible according to their characters and temptations. I try, however, to trust in God to cover my sins, and believe that, if I do my best, He will forgive me, that is all. But I have no business to preach to you, who are older and wiser than I am.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“If,” he broke in, laying his hand involuntarily upon her own, “you knew — although I have never spoken of them to any one before, and could not speak of them to anybody but yourself — how these things weigh upon my mind, you would not say that, but would try to teach me your faith.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“How can I teach you, Arthur, when I have so much to learn myself?” she answered, simply, and from that moment, though she did not know it as yet, she loved him.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">This conversation — a very curious one, Arthur thought to himself afterwards, for two young people on a spring morning — having come to an end, nothing more was said for some while, and they took their way down the hill, varying the route in order to pass through the little hamlet of Bratham. Under a chestnut-tree that stood upon the village green, Arthur noticed, <span class="t31">not</span> a village blacksmith, but a small crowd, mostly composed of children, gathered round somebody. On going to see who it was, he discovered a battered-looking old man with an intellectual face, and the remnants of a gentlemanlike appearance, playing on the violin. A very few touches of his bow told Arthur, who knew something of music, that he was in the presence of a performer of no mean merit. Seeing the quality of his two auditors, and that they appreciated his performance, the player changed his music, and from a village jig passed to one of the more difficult opera airs, which he executed in brilliant fashion.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Bravo!” cried Arthur, as the last notes thrilled and died away; “I see you understand how to play the fiddle.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Yes, sir, and so I should, for I have played first violin at Her Majesty’s Opera before now. Name what you like, and I will play it you. Or, if you like it better, you shall hear the water running in a brook, the wind passing through the trees, or the waves falling on the beach. Only say the word.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">Arthur thought for a moment.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“It is a beautiful day, let us have a contrast — give us the music of a storm.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">The old man considered a while.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I understand, but you set a difficult subject even for me,” and taking up his bow he made several attempts at beginning. “I can’t do it,” he said, “set something else.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“No, no, try again, that or nothing.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">Again he started, and this time his genius took possession of him. The notes fell very softly at first, but with an ominous sound, then rose and wailed like the rising of the wind. Next the music came in gusts, the rain pattered, and the thunder roared, till at length the tempest seemed to spend its force and pass slowly away into the distance.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“There, sir, what do you say to that — have I fulfilled your expectations?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Write it down and it will be one of the finest pieces of violin music in the country.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Write it down. The divine ‘afflatus’ is not to be caged, sir, it comes and goes. I could never write that music down.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">Arthur felt in his pocket without answering, and found five shillings.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“If you will accept this?” he said.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Thank you, sir, very much. I am gladder of five shillings now than I once was of as many pounds;” and he rose to go.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“A man of your talent should not be wandering about like this.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I must earn a living somehow, for all Talleyrand’s witticism to the contrary,” was the curious answer.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Have you no friends?”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“No, sir, this is my only friend; all the rest have deserted me,” and he tapped his violin and was gone.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Lord, sir,” said a farmer, who was standing by, “he’s gone to get drunk; he is the biggest old drunkard in the countryside, and yet they do say he was gentleman once, and the best fiddler in London; but he can’t be depended on, so no one will hire him now.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“How sad,” said Angela, as they moved homewards.</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“Yes, and what music that was; I never heard any with such imagination before. You have a turn that way, Angela; you should try to put it into words, it would make a poem.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“I complain like the old man, that you set a difficult subject,” she said; “but I will try, if you will promise not to laugh at the result.”</p>
|
|
|
-<p class="p34">“If you succeed on paper only half so well as he did on the violin, your verses will be worth listening to, and I certainly shall not laugh.”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p29"><span class="t29">第二天早上</span><span class="t27">, </span><span class="t28">当他们在八点钟的早餐时见面</span><span class="t27">, </span><span class="t28">阿瑟注意到安吉拉似乎有些烦恼。</span></p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p29">“有个坏消息，”她几乎在他问候之前就说，“我表哥乔治得了伤寒，非常严重。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“真的吗！”阿瑟冷冷地说道。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“好吧，我必须说这似乎并没有让你感到很烦恼。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“不，我不能说我有。我说实话，我讨厌你的表哥，我不在乎他是否生病，就这样。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">她似乎没有准备好回复，于是这个话题就此打住。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">早餐后，安吉拉提议他们去散步——因为天气再次很好——到一英里外的一座小山上，从那里可以看到周围的乡村风光。他同意了，在路上告诉她前一晚与她父亲的奇怪经历。她认真地听着，等他说完后，摇了摇头。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我父亲身上有一些东西使他与众不同，”她说，“他的生活从未出现在日复一日的阳光下，总是摸索在某种阴暗过去的阴影中。笼罩他的谜团是什么，我既不知道也不想去探寻；但我确信确实存在这样的谜团。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“你怎么解释那些阴影呢？”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我相信你的解释是对的；它们是在某些光照条件下由一棵远处生长的树投射出来的。我自己在大白天也看到过墙上那些看似人影的东西。他能将这样简单的事情如此解读，显示出一种奇特的心态。”</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“那么，你不认为，”阿瑟为了引导她说，“他有可能是对的，那些东西来自另一个地方？我可以告诉你，他的恐惧几乎足以让人相信它们的存在。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“不，我不这样认为，”安吉拉想了一会儿回答道。“我毫不怀疑我们与无形世界之间的帷幕比我们想象的要薄。我也相信，在有利的条件下，或者当帷幕因困扰或祷告而变薄时，沟通甚至警告有时可以从另一个世界传达到我们这里。但我父亲的恐惧恰恰证明了他的阴影绝不是那种东西，因为几乎不可能允许灵魂来恐吓我们这些可怜的凡人；如果它们真的来到这里，那也是出于爱和温柔，为了安慰或警告，而不是为了激发我们的迷信。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“你说得好像你对此了如指掌；你应该加入那个新的幽灵社，”他不敬地回答道，坐在一棵倒下的树上，她也跟着坐了下来。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我有时会想到这些，仅此而已。就我所读过的内容而言，我认为我的信念是普遍的，也是圣经教导我们的；但是，如果你不觉得我傻，我会告诉你一些让我更加坚信的事情。你知道我母亲在我出生时就去世了；这可能对你来说有些奇怪，但我确信她有时非常接近我。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“你的意思是你能见到或听到她吗？”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“不，我只是感觉到她的存在；很遗憾，现在这种感觉越来越少了，因为</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">随着我长大。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“你是什么意思？”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我几乎无法解释我的意思，但有时候——可能是在晚上，或者白天我独自坐着的时候——一种极大的平静降临在我身上，我变成了一个不同的女人。我的所有想法都升入一种更高、更纯净的空气中，就像是被反射的光线染上了一层色彩；所有世俗的东西似乎都从我身边消失了，我感觉就像灵魂上的枷锁已经脱落，我<span class="t31">知道</span>我离我的母亲很近。然后一切消逝，我又回到了自己。”</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“那么在这些时候你都有什么想法呢？”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“啊！我希望我能告诉你；它们随着带来它们的人一起消逝，只在我心中留下模糊的余晖，就像太阳落山后天空的余辉一样。但现在看看这风景；在阳光下是不是很美？整个世界似乎都在欢庆。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">安吉拉是对的；景色非常迷人。下方是布拉瑟姆小村庄的茅草屋顶，右边湖水在闪烁的阳光下像银子般闪耀，而老房子的山墙从萌芽的树叶中探出头来，看起来极具风景画的美感。春天为大地披上了绿色的衣裳；每片小树林中都响彻着鸟儿的歌声，和煦的微风中弥漫着无数紫罗兰的香气，这些紫罗兰星星点点地布满了脚下苔藓的地毯。在长满小麦和苜蓿的田野中，旺盛的生命正在萌发，忙碌的除草工人正忙着工作，而在温暖的褐色休耕地上，播种者正在播种。从下方早春的牧场传来愉快的牛鸣声，它们对新草感到满足，还有羊羔欢快的咩叫声，对它们而言，生活不过是一次长长的跳跃。这是一个迷人的场景，其影响深深地沉入了观赏者的心中。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“想到这些令人沮丧，”亚瑟有点感慨地说，但实际上主要是为了了解他的同伴的观点，“这一切不能持久，就像我们一样，注定要消亡。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> “它升起又落下，漂浮不定</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 在地球动荡的海洋上，</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 一个膨胀后消逝的浪潮</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 进入永恒。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 哦！翅膀不能飞翔的</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 神秘与奇迹，</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 耳朵不能倾听的，</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 生命存在——为了死亡！”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">安吉拉说，以此作为评论。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“这些诗是谁写的？”亚瑟问道。“我不认识它们。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“是我自己的，”她害羞地说，“也就是说，它们是我为弗雷泽先生写的一首希腊颂歌的翻译。如果你愿意，我可以说出原文给你听；我觉得它比翻译更好，而且我相信它是很好的希腊文。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“谢谢，谢谢，才女小姐；我对你的英文版已经很满意了。你真让我感到惊讶，安吉拉。大多数人如果能把用英文写的诗译成希腊文就很满足了；而你却反其道而行之，冷静地用希腊文表达你的想法，然后屈尊将其翻译成你的母语。我真希望你能去剑桥，或者——他们叫什么地方来着？——吉尔顿。看你取得双学位会是个笑话。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“啊！”她插话道，脸红了，“你就像弗雷泽先生一样，高估了我的学识。我很遗憾地说我并不是你想象中的完美学者，我在大多数事情上都无知得可怕。如果在弗雷泽先生这样一位学者的指导下，经过十年的耐心学习，我还不了解一些经典和数学，那我确实是太傻了。你知道吗，在我们一起学习的最后三年里，我们通常在工作中用拉丁语和希腊语进行日常对话，月复一月，有时结果非常有趣。一个人永远不知道自己对一种死语言了解得多么少，直到他尝试去说它。试着在接下来的五分钟里用拉丁语说话，你就会明白了。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“谢谢你，我可不想为了你的娱乐而暴露我的无知，</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">安吉拉。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">她笑了。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“不，”她说，“是你想借机取笑我，让我相信自己是个大学者。但在你攻击我所谓的学识之前，我想说的是，我认为你关于整个世界都被判了死刑的说法有点病态。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“为什么？这显然是事实。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“是的，从某种意义上说；但在我看来，这个场景更多地是在讲述复活而不是死亡。看看大地正在绽放花朵，枯死的树木重新变得美丽。那里没有死亡的迹象，反而是一种更新和荣耀的生命。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“是的，但仍然有面对死亡这一可怕事实的问题；自然本身在绽放美丽之前也曾暂时死去；她每年秋天死去，每年春天以同样的形式再生。但我们怎么知道我们会以何种形式从蛹中出现呢？一个人一旦开始思考，就面临这个可怕的问题，他知道自己每天都在接近这个问题的解决。我常常认为，他的处境比被判刑的罪犯还糟，因为罪犯只是被剥夺了一段时间的使用权，这段时间是不确定的，但绝对有限；而人却不知道自己被剥夺了什么，也不知道在等待他的漫长岁月中他将继承什么。死亡的不确定性是其最可怕的部分，而这种不确定性笼罩着我们整个种族，我感到惊讶的不仅是我们大多数人完全将这个话题置之脑后，而且我们竟然还能认真思考其他事情。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我记得，”安吉拉回答，“曾经也有过类似的想法，于是我去找弗雷泽先生寻求建议。‘圣经，’他说，‘如果你以正确的精神去阅读，它会满足你的疑问和恐惧。’而事实上，它或多或少地做到了。当然，我不敢对你提出建议，但我传递他的建议；这是一个非常好的人给出的建议。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“那么，你对死亡，或者说对死亡之后的世界没有恐惧吗？”</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">她带着几分惊讶地看着他。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“为什么，”她说，“我这个不朽的人应该害怕一个我知道无力伤害我的变化，反而只能让我更接近我存在目的的变化呢？当然，我会像我们所有人一样对死亡本身感到畏惧，但对于死后的危险，我没有恐惧。虽然这个世界有时很美好，但我们每个人内心都有一种力量想要超越它，如果我知道我必须在这一小时内死去，我相信我能够毫不畏惧地面对命运。我确信，当我们颤抖的手揭开死亡的面纱时，我们会发现他的面容确实无情，但非常美丽。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">亚瑟惊讶地看着她，想知道她是什么样的女人，在青春和美丽的初期能毫不畏惧地面对伟大的未知。当他再次开口时，带着几分嫉妒的苦涩。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“啊！对于你来说，这很好，因为你的生活如此纯净，没有邪恶，但对于我来说，有着所有的罪恶和缺陷意识，这是不同的。对于我和像我这样的成千上万的人来说，尽管我们努力，永生既有恐惧也有希望。人类总是会害怕未来，因为人性从未改变。你知道《哈姆雷特》里的诗句。那是</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> ‘因为对死后某物的恐惧，—</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 那个未发现的国度，从其界限</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 没有旅人归来—困惑了意志</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 让我们宁愿忍受现有的痛苦</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 而不愿逃向未知的苦难。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34"> 于是良知使我们都成了懦夫。’</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“这些话是真实的，而且只要人类存在，它们将永远是真实的。”</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“哦！亚瑟，”她认真地回答道，并且第一次在谈话中称呼他的教名，“你对造物主的仁慈信任得多么有限啊，他的仁慈如海洋般广阔，而你竟能如此谈论！你也说我比你好—我怎么会比你好呢？我也有不好的想法，也做坏事，虽然可能不同，但我确信它们和你的一样黑暗，因为每个人都必须根据自己的性格和诱惑负责。然而，我努力信任上帝会宽恕我的罪过，相信如果我尽力而为，他会原谅我，仅此而已。但我没有资格对你说教，你比我年长也比我聪明。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“如果，”他打断道，下意识地把手放在她手上，“你知道—虽然我从未向任何人提起过这些事情，也无法对除了你之外的人说—这些事情在我心中有多重，你就不会这么说了，而是会试着教我你的信仰。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“亚瑟，我怎么能教你，当我自己还有那么多需要学习的东西呢？”她简单地回答道，从那一刻起，尽管她还未察觉，她已经爱上了他。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">这段谈话—亚瑟事后觉得这对两个年轻人在春日早晨来说是非常奇特的对话—结束后，他们在一段时间内没有再说话，并沿着山路走下去，改变了路线，以便穿过布雷瑟姆的小村庄。在村庄绿地上的一棵栗树下，亚瑟注意到，不是一个村庄铁匠，而是一个小人群，大多数是孩子，围着某个人。走近一看，他发现是一个面容饱经风霜但显得聪慧的老人，仍保留着绅士风范的残迹，在拉小提琴。亚瑟对音乐略知一二，几下琴弓就让他意识到自己面前的是一位技艺不凡的演奏者。看到两位听众的素质，并且他们欣赏他的演奏，演奏者改变了曲目，从一段村庄舞曲转向了一段更为复杂的歌剧选段，并以辉煌的方式演奏出来。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“好极了！”亚瑟喊道，当最后的音符震撼并消失时；“我看得出你很会拉小提琴。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“是的，先生，我应该会，因为我曾在女王陛下的歌剧院担任首席小提琴手。随便点一首，我会为你演奏。或者，如果你更喜欢，我可以让你听到溪水潺潺，风穿过树梢，或海浪拍打海滩的声音。只需说一声。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">亚瑟思考了一下。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“天气真好，让我们来个对比—给我们演奏一首暴风雨的音乐。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">老人思索了一会儿。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我明白，但你给我出了个难题，”他说着拿起了琴弓，试着开始演奏几次。“我做不到，”他说，“换个别的吧。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“不，不，再试一次，就这个，要不就算了。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">他又开始了，这次灵感降临在他身上。音符一开始落下得非常轻柔，但带有不祥之音，然后升起并像风声般呜咽。接着音乐阵阵袭来，雨点滴答作响，雷声轰鸣，直到最后狂风似乎耗尽了力量，慢慢消失在远方。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“怎么样，先生，这如何—我有没有达到你的期望？”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“把它写下来，这将是全国最好的小提琴曲之一。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“把它写下来。神圣的‘灵感’是不能被囚禁的，先生，它来去无踪。我永远无法把这音乐写下来。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">亚瑟没有回答，摸了摸口袋，找到了五先令。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“如果您愿意接受这个？”他说。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“谢谢您，先生，非常感谢。现在我对这五先令比以前对五英镑还要高兴；”他说着站起来准备离开。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“像您这样有才华的人不应该这样四处流浪。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我总得谋生，不管塔列朗的妙语如何相悖，”他奇怪地回答。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“您没有朋友吗？”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“没有，先生，这就是我唯一的朋友；其他的都抛弃了我，”他说着拍了拍他的提琴，然后离开了。</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“天哪，先生，”站在旁边的一个农夫说道，“他去喝酒了；他是这片乡村里最大的老酒鬼，但人们都说他曾经是个绅士，也是伦敦最好的小提琴手；可是他不可靠，所以现在没有人愿意雇他。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“多么可悲，”安吉拉说，当他们向家走去时。</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“是的，那音乐真是美妙；我从未听过如此富有想象力的音乐。你在这方面也有些天分，安吉拉；你应该试着把它写成文字，这会成为一首诗。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“我像那个老人一样抱怨，因为你给我出了个难题，”她说；“但我会试试，如果你答应不嘲笑结果的话。”</p>
|
|
|
+<p class="p34">“如果你在纸上的表现能有他在小提琴上一半好，你的诗句就值得聆听，我绝对不会笑。”</p>
|
|
|
+
|
|
|
</body>
|
|
|
</html>
|
max