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-<title>CHAPTER XL</title>
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-<h2 class="h21"><a id="a371"></a><a id="a372"></a><a id="a373"></a>CHAPTER XL</h2>
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-<p class="p28"><span class="t25"><img src="images/img23.jpg" width="135" height="32" alt="img23.jpg"/></span></p>
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-<p class="p29"><span class="t29">T</span><span class="t28">WO</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">DAYS</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">AFTER</span><span class="t27"> </span>Sir John had been taken into confidence, Philip received a visit from Lady Bellamy that caused him a good deal of discomfort. After talking to him on general subjects for awhile, she rose to go.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“By the way, Mr. Caresfoot,” she said, “I really had almost forgotten the object of my visit. You may remember a conversation we had together some time ago, when I was the means of paying a debt owing to you?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Philip nodded.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Then you will not have forgotten that one of the articles of our little verbal convention was, that if it should be considered to the interest of all the parties concerned, your daughter’s old nurse was not to remain in your house?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I remember.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Well, do you know, I cannot help thinking that it must be a bad thing for Angela to have so much of the society of an ill-educated and not very refined person like Pigott. I really advise you to get rid of her.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“She has been with me for twenty years, and my daughter is devoted to her. I can’t turn her off.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“It is always painful to dismiss an old servant — almost as bad as discarding an old dress; but when a dress is worn out it must be thrown away. Surely the same applies to servants.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I don’t see how I am to send her away.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I can quite understand your feelings; but then, you see, an agreement implies obligations on both sides, doesn’t it? especially an agreement ‘for value received,’ as the lawyers say.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Philip winced perceptibly.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I wish I had never had anything to do with your agreements.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh! if you think it over, I don’t think that you will say so. Well, that is settled. I suppose she will go pretty soon. I am glad to see you looking so well — very different from your cousin, I assure you. I don’t think much of his state of health. Good-bye; remember me to Angela. By the way, I don’t know if you have heard that George has met with a repulse in that direction; he does not intend to press matters any more at present; but, of course, the agreement holds all the same. Nobody knows what the morrow may bring forth.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Where you and my amiable cousin are concerned, I shall be much surprised if it does not bring forth villany,” thought Philip, as soon as he heard the front door close. “I suppose that it must be done about Pigott. Curse that woman, with her sorceress face. I wish I had never put myself into her power; the iron hand can be felt pretty plainly through her velvet glove.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Life is never altogether clouded over, and that morning Angela’s horizon had been brightened by two big rays of sunshine that came to shed their cheering light on the grey monotony of her surroundings. For of late, notwithstanding its occasional spasms of fierce excitement, her life had been as monotonous as it was miserable. Always the same anxious grief, the same fears, the same longing pressing hourly round her like phantoms in the mist — no, not like phantoms, like real living things peeping at her from the dark. Sometimes, indeed, the presentiments and intangible terrors that were gradually strengthening their hold upon her would get beyond her control, and arouse in her a restless desire for action — any action, it did not matter what — that would take her away out of these dull hours of unwholesome mental growth. It was this longing to be doing something that drove her, fevered physically with the stifling air of the summer night, and mentally by thoughts of her absent lover and recollections of Lady Bellamy’s ominous words, down to the borders of the lake on the evening of George’s visit to her father, and once there, prompted her to try to forget her troubles for awhile in the exercise of an art of which she had from childhood been a mistress.</p>
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-<p class="p34">The same feeling it was too, that led her to spend long hours of the day and even of the night, when by rights she should have been asleep, immersed in endless mathematical studies, and in solving, or attempting to solve, almost impossible problems. She found that the strenuous effort of the brain acted as a counter-irritant to the fretting of her troubles, and though it may seem an odd thing to say, mathematics alone, owing to the intense application they required, exercised a soothing effect upon her. But, as one cannot constantly sleep induced by chloral without paying for it in some shape or form, Angela’s relief from her cares was obtained at no small cost to her health. When the same brain, however well developed it may be, has both to study hard and suffer much, there must be a waste of tissue somewhere. In Angela’s case the outward and visible result of this state of things was to make her grow thinner, and the alternate mental effect to increasingly rarefy an intellect already too ethereal for this work-a-day world, and to plunge its owner into fits of depression which were rendered dreadful by sudden forebodings of evil that would leap to life in the recesses of her mind, and for a moment cast a lurid glare upon its gloom, such as at night the lightning gives to the blackness which surrounds it.</p>
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-<p class="p34">It was in one of the worst of these fits, her “cloudy days” as she would call them to Pigott, that good news found her. As she was dressing, Pigott brought her a letter, which, recognizing Lady Bellamy’s bold handwriting, she opened in fear and trembling. It contained a short note and another letter. The note ran as follows:</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Dear Angela,</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I enclose you a letter from your cousin George, which contains what I suppose you will consider good news. <span class="t31">For your own sake</span> I beg you not to send it back unopened as you did the last.</p>
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-<p class="p34"><span class="t25">“A. B.”</span></p>
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-<p class="p34">For a moment Angela was tempted to mistrust this enclosure, and almost come to the determination to throw it into the fire, feeling sure that a serpent lurked in the grass and that it was a cunningly disguised love-letter. But curiosity overcame her, and she opened it as gingerly as though it were infected, unfolding the sheet with the handle of her hair-brush. Its contents were destined to give her a surprise. They ran thus:</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Isleworth Hall, September 20.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“My dear Cousin,</p>
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-<p class="p34">“After what passed between us a few days ago you will perhaps be surprised at hearing from me, but, if you have the patience to read this short letter, its contents will not, I fear, be altogether displeasing to you. They are very simple. I write to say that I accept your verdict, and that you need fear no further advances from me. Whether I quite deserved all the bitter words you poured out upon me I leave you to judge at leisure, seeing that my only crime was that I loved you. To most women that offence would not have seemed so unpardonable. But that is as it may be. After what you said there is only one course left for a man who has any pride — and that is to withdraw. So let the past be dead between us. I shall never allude to it again. Wishing you happiness in the path of life which you have chosen,</p>
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-<p class="p34"> ”I remain,</p>
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-<p class="p34"> ”Your affectionate cousin,</p>
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-<p class="p34"> ”George Caresfoot.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">It would have been difficult for any one to have received a more perfectly satisfactory letter than this was to Angela.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Pigott,” she called out, feeling the absolute necessity of a confidant in her joy, and forgetting that that worthy soul had nothing but the most general knowledge of George’s advances, “he has given me up; just think, he is going to let me alone. I declare that I feel quite fond of him.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“And who might you be talking of, miss?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Why, my cousin George, of course; he is going to let me alone, I tell you.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Which, seeing how as he isn’t fit to touch you with a pair of tongs, is about the least as he can do, miss, and, as for letting you alone, I didn’t know as he ever proposed doing anything else. But that reminds me, miss, though I am sure I don’t know why it should, how as Mrs. Hawkins, as was put in to look after the vicarage while the Reverend Fraser was away, told me last night how as she had got a telegraft the sight of which, she said, knocked her all faint like, till she turned just as yellow as the cover, to say nothing of four- and-six porterage, the which, however, she intends to recover from the Reverend — Lord, where was I?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I am sure I don’t know, Pigott, but I suppose you were going to tell me what was in the telegram.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Yes, miss, that’s right; but my head does seem to wool up somehow so at times that I fare to lose my way.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Well, Pigott, what was in the telegram?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Lord, miss, how you do hurry one, begging your pardon; only that the Reverend Fraser — not but what Mrs. Hawkins do say that it can’t be true, because the words warn’t in his writing nor nothing like, as she has good reason to know, seeing that — —”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Yes, but what about Mr. Fraser, Pigott? Isn’t he well?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“The telegraft didn’t say, as I remembers, miss; bless me, I forget if it was to-day or to-morrow.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, Pigott,” groaned Angela, “do tell me what was in the telegram.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Why, miss, surely I told you that the thing said, though I fancy likely to be in error — —”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“What?” almost shouted Angela.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Why, that the Reverend Fraser would be home by the midday train, and would like a beefsteak for lunch, not mentioning, however, anything about the onions, which is very puzzling to Mrs. — —”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, I am glad; why could you not tell me before? Cousin George disposed of and Mr. Fraser coming back. Why, things are looking quite bright again; at least they would be if only Arthur were here,” and her rejoicing ended in a sigh.</p>
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-<p class="p34">As soon as she thought that he would have finished his beefsteak, with or without the onions, Angela walked down to the vicarage and broke in upon Mr. Fraser with something of her old gladsome warmth. Running up to him without waiting to be announced, she seized him by both hands.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“And so you are back at last? what a long time you have been away. Oh,</p>
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-<p class="p34">I am so glad to see you.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Mr. Fraser, who, it struck her, looked older since his absence, turned first a little red and then a little pale, and said,</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Yes, Angela, here I am back again in the old shop; it is very good of you to come so soon to see me. Now, sit down and tell me all about yourself whilst I go on with my unpacking. But, bless me, my dear, what is the matter with you, you look thin, and as though you were not happy, and — where has your smile gone to, Angela?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Never mind me, you must tell me all about yourself first. Where have you been and what have you been doing all these long months?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, I have been enjoying myself over half the civilized globe,” he answered, with a somewhat forced laugh. “Switzerland, Italy, and Spain have all been benefited by my presence, but I got tired of it, so here I am back in my proper sphere, and delighted to again behold these dear familiar faces,” and he pointed to his ample collection of classics. “But let me hear about yourself, Angela. I am tired of No. 1, I can assure you.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Oh, mine is a long story, you will scarcely find patience to listen to it.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Ah, I thought that there was a story from your face; then I think that I can guess what it is about. Young ladies’ stories generally turn upon the same pivot,” and he laughed a little softly, and sat down in a corner well out of the light. “Now, my dear, I am ready to give you my best attention.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Angela blushed very deeply, and, looking studiously out of the window, began, with many hesitations, to tell her story.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Well, Mr. Fraser, you must understand first of all — I mean, you know, that I must tell you that—” desperately, “that I am engaged.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Ah!”</p>
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-<p class="p34">There was a something so sharp and sudden about this exclamation that</p>
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-<p class="p34">Angela turned round quickly.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“What’s the matter, have you hurt yourself?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Yes; but go on, Angela.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">It was an awkward story to tell, especially the George complication part of it, and to any one else she felt that she would have found it almost impossible to tell it, but in Mr. Fraser she was, she knew, sure of a sympathetic listener. Had she known, too, that the mere mention of her lover’s name was a stab to her listener’s heart, and that every expression of her own deep and enduring love and each tone of endearment were new and ingenious tortures, she might well have been confused.</p>
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-<p class="p34">For so it was. Although he was fifty years of age, Mr. Fraser had not educated Angela with impunity. He had paid the penalty that must have resulted to any heart-whole man not absolutely a fossil, who had been brought into close contact with such a woman as Angela. Her loveliness appealed to his sense of beauty, her goodness to his heart, and her learning to his intellectual sympathies. What wonder that he learnt by imperceptible degrees to love her; the wonder would have been if he had not.</p>
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-<p class="p34">The reader need not fear, however; he shall not be troubled with any long account of Mr. Fraser’s misfortune, for it never came to light or obtruded itself upon the world or even upon its object. His was one of those earnest, secret, and self-sacrificing passions of which, if we only knew it, there exist a good many round about us, passions which to all appearance tend to nothing and are entirely without object, unless it to be make the individuals on whom they are inflicted a little less happy, or a little more miserable, as the case may be, than he or she would otherwise have been. It was to strive to conquer this passion, which in his heart he called dishonourable, that Mr. Fraser had gone abroad, right away from Angela, where he had wrestled with it, and prayed against it, and at last, as he thought, subdued it. But now, on his first sight of her, it rose again in all its former strength, and rushed through his being like a storm, and he realized that such love is of those things that cannot die. And perhaps it is a question if he really wished to lose it. It was a poor thing indeed, a very poor thing, but his own. There is something so divine about all true love that there lurks a conviction at the bottom of the hearts of most of us that it is better to love, however much we suffer, than not to love at all. Perhaps, after all, those really to be pitied are the people who are not capable of any such sensation.</p>
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-<p class="p34">But what Mr. Fraser suffered listening that autumn afternoon to Angela’s tale of another’s love and of her own deep return of that love, no man but himself ever knew. Yet still he heard and was not shaken in his loyal-heartedness, and comforted and consoled her, giving her the best advice in his power, like the noble Christian gentleman that he was; showing her too that there was little need of anxiety and every ground for hope that things would come to a happy and successful issue. The martyr’s abnegation of self is not yet dead in the world.</p>
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-<p class="p34">At last Angela came to the letter that she had that very morning received from George. Mr. Fraser read it carefully.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“At any rate,” he said, “he is behaving like a gentleman now. On the whole, that is a nice letter. You will be troubled with him no more.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Yes,” answered Angela, and then flushing up at the memory of George’s arguments in the lane, “but it is certainly time that he did, for he had no business, oh, he had no business to speak to me as he spoke, and he a man old enough to be my father.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Mr. Fraser’s pale cheeks coloured a little.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Don’t be hard upon him because he is old, Angela — which by the way he is not, he is nearly ten years my junior — for I fear that old men are just as liable to be made fools of by a pretty face as young ones.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">From that moment, not knowing the man’s real character, Mr. Fraser secretly entertained a certain sympathy for George’s sufferings, arising no doubt from a fellow-feeling. It seemed to him that he could understand a man going very far indeed when his object was to win Angela: not that he would have done it himself, but he knew the temptation and what it cost to struggle against it.</p>
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-<p class="p34">It was nearly dark when at length Angela, rising to go, warmly pressed his hand, and thanked him in her own sweet way for his goodness and kind counsel. And then, declining his offer of escort, and saying that she would come and see him again on the morrow, she departed on her homeward path.</p>
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-<p class="p34">The first thing that met her gaze on the hall-table at the Abbey House was a note addressed to herself in a handwriting that she had seen in many washing bills, but never before on an envelope. She opened it in vague alarm. It ran as follows:</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Miss, — Yore father has just dismissed me, saying that he is too pore to keep me any longer, which is a matter as I holds my own opinion on, and that I am too uneddicated to be in yore company, which is a perfect truth. But, miss, not feeling any how ekal to bid you good-bye in person after bringing you up by hand and doing for you these many years, I takes the liberty to write to you, miss, to say good-bye and God bless you, my beautiful angel, and I shall be to be found down at the old housen at the end of the drift as my pore husband left me, which is fortinately just empty, and p’raps you will come and see me at times, miss.</p>
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-<p class="p34"> ”Yore obedient servant,</p>
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-<p class="p34"> ”Pigott.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“I opens this again to say how as I have tied up your things a bit afore I left leaving mine till to-morrow, when, if living, I shall send for them. If you please, miss, you will find yore clean night-shift in the left hand drawyer, and sorry am I that I can’t be there to lay it out for you. I shall take the liberty to send up for your washing, as it can’t be trusted to any one.”</p>
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-<p class="p34">Angela read the letter through, and then sank back upon a chair and burst into a storm of tears. Partially recovering herself, however, she rose and entered her father’s study.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Is this true?” she asked, still sobbing.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Is what true?” asked Philip, indifferently, and affecting not to see her distress.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“That you have sent Pigott away?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Yes, yes, you see, Angela — —”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Do you mean that she is really to stop away?”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Of course I do, I really must be allowed, Angela — —”</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Forgive me, father, but I do not want to listen to your reasons and excuses.” Her eyes were quite dry now. “That woman nursed my dying mother, and played a mother’s part to me. She is, as you know, my only woman friend, and yet you throw her away like a worn-out shoe. No doubt you have your reasons, and I hope that they are satisfactory to you, but I tell you, reasons or no reasons, you have acted in a way that is cowardly and cruel;” and casting one indignant glance at him she left the room.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Philip quailed before his daughter’s anger.</p>
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-<p class="p34">“Thank goodness she’s gone, and that job is done with. I am downright afraid of her, and the worst of it is she speaks the truth,” said Philip to himself, as the door closed.</p>
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-<p class="p34">Ten days after this incident, Angela heard casually from Mr. Fraser that Sir John and Lady Bellamy were going on a short trip abroad for the benefit of the former’s health. If she thought about the matter at all, it was to feel rather glad. Angela did not like Lady Bellamy, indeed she feared her. Of George she neither heard nor saw anything. He had also gone away.</p>
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+<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd">
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+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en">
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+<head>
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+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="application/xhtml+xml; charset=utf-8"/>
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+<meta name="Generator" content="Atlantis Word Processor 4.0.6.6"/>
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+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="style.css"/>
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+<title>第四十章</title>
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+</head>
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+<body>
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+<h2 class="h21"><a id="a371"></a><a id="a372"></a><a id="a373"></a>第四十章</h2>
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+<p class="p28"><span class="t25"><img src="images/img23.jpg" width="135" height="32" alt="图片23.jpg"/></span></p>
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+<p class="p29"><span class="t29">两</span><span class="t28">天</span><span class="t27"> </span><span class="t28">后</span><span class="t27"> </span>约翰爵士被信任后，菲利普收到了贝拉米夫人的拜访，这让他感到非常不适。在和他聊了一会儿一般话题后，她起身告辞。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“顺便说一下，卡雷斯富特先生，”她说，“我真的几乎忘了这次拜访的目的。你可能还记得我们不久前的一次谈话，当时我帮你偿还了债务？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">菲利普点了点头。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“那么你肯定没忘记，我们小小口头协议中的一条规定是：如果这对所有相关方都有利，你女儿的旧保姆就不该留在你家？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我记得。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“嗯，你知道吗，我不禁认为，Angela频繁接触像Pigott这样教育程度低、不够优雅的人，这对她来说一定是件坏事。我真心建议你摆脱她。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“她跟了我二十年，我女儿和她感情很深。我不能解雇她。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“解雇一个老仆人总是痛苦的——几乎就像丢弃一件旧衣服一样糟糕；但是当衣服穿破了，它就必须被扔掉。当然，这同样适用于仆人。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我看不出该怎么把她送走。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我非常理解你的感受；但是，你看，协议意味着双方都有义务，不是吗？尤其是‘有偿协议’，正如律师们所说的那样。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">菲利普明显地畏缩了一下。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我真希望我从未与你们的协议有过任何瓜葛。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦！如果你仔细想想，我不认为你会这么说。好吧，那就这么定了。我想她很快就会走。我很高兴看到你看起来这么好 — 和你表兄截然不同，我向你保证。我不太看好他的健康状况。再见；代我向安吉拉问好。顺便说一下，我不知道你是否听说乔治在那个方向遭到了拒绝；他目前不打算再强求了；但是，当然，协议仍然有效。没人知道明天会发生什么。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"凡是牵扯到你和我那位'和蔼可亲'表亲的事，要是不闹出些邪恶勾当才怪呢，"前门刚关上，菲利普就暗自思忖。"看来必须处理皮戈特的事了。诅咒那个女人，长着张巫婆脸。真后悔当初受制于她——透过她那天鹅绒手套，都能清晰感受到那只铁拳的力道了。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">生活永远不会完全被阴霾笼罩——那天清晨，两道灿烂的阳光穿透云层，将欢欣的光芒洒在安吉拉灰暗单调的世界里。尽管近来偶尔会迸发出激烈的情绪波动，她的生活始终在痛苦中维持着千篇一律的节奏。无休止的焦虑、重复的恐惧、每时每刻缠绕着她的渴望，如同迷雾中的幻影——不，不是幻影，更像是从黑暗中窥伺着她的活物。那些日益强烈的预感与无形恐惧有时会超出她的控制，激起躁动不安的行动欲——任何行动都好，无论是什么——只要能逃离这种病态精神滋长的沉闷时光。正是这种渴望驱使着她：夏夜闷热的空气灼烧着她的身体，对缺席恋人的思念与贝拉米夫人不祥之语的回响啃噬着她的心智。乔治拜访她父亲那晚，她来到湖畔，试图用自幼精通的技艺暂时忘却烦恼。</p>
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+<p class="p34">正是同样的感受驱使她将白昼乃至深夜——本应酣眠的时刻——投入无尽的数学研究中，不断解决或试图攻克那些近乎无解的难题。她发现，剧烈的脑力活动如同烦恼的缓解剂；尽管听来奇特，但正因数学需要全神贯注，反而能抚平她的心绪。然而正如长期依赖氯醛助眠终将付出代价，安吉拉以健康为高昂成本换得了片刻安宁。当同一颗大脑——无论多么聪慧——既要刻苦钻研又要承受痛苦时，某些组织的损耗便不可避免。体现在安吉拉身上，最显著的外在变化是她日渐消瘦；而交替出现的心理效应则是：她那本就超脱于平凡世界的灵性思维愈发趋于空幻，随之而来的阵阵抑郁更会突然被心底窜出的凶兆点燃——犹如黑夜中的闪电，刹那间的惨白光芒将周遭的漆黑照得愈发森然可怖。</p>
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+<p class="p34">正当她深陷最恶劣的情绪低谷——她常对皮戈特称之为"阴郁日子"——时，喜讯却翩然而至。晨妆时分，皮戈特递来一封信件。认出贝拉米夫人遒劲的笔迹后，她拆信时双手止不住地战栗。信封里装着张便笺和另一封信函。便笺内容如下：</p>
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+<p class="p34">“亲爱的安吉拉,</p>
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+<p class="p34">"我附上你堂兄乔治的来信，其中包含我认为你会视为好消息的内容。<span class="t31">为了你自己着想</span>，我恳求你不要像上次那样原封不动地退回。"</p>
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+<p class="p34"><span class="t25">“甲. 乙.”</span></p>
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+<p class="p34">一时间，安吉拉忍不住怀疑这个附件，几乎下定决心要把它扔进火里，因为她确信其中暗藏危机，就像草丛中潜伏的蛇一样，而且这可能是封狡猾伪装的情书。但好奇心占了上风，她小心翼翼地打开它，仿佛它被感染了似的，用发刷的手柄展开那张纸。它的内容注定会让她大吃一惊。内容如下：</p>
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+<p class="p34">“艾尔斯沃斯庄园，9月20日。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“亲爱的表亲,</p>
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+<p class="p34">"经历了数日前那场争执后，收到我的信函或许令你意外。但若你愿耐心读完这封短信，其中内容——我惶恐——应不至令你全然不悦。此信意图极简：我接受你的判决，你无须再忧惧我的纠缠。至于我是否配得上你倾泻而出的那些锋锐言辞，且留待你日后从容裁断——毕竟我唯一的罪愆，不过是对你怀有爱意。在多数女子眼中，此等过错原非不可宽宥。然事已至此，既闻君言，但凡存有半分尊严的男子，唯余一条去路——那便是退出。且让往事在你我之间彻底死寂。我永不再提。唯愿你在自择的人生坦途上......"</p>
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+<p class="p34"> ”此致,</p>
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+<p class="p34"> ”你亲爱的表亲，</p>
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+<p class="p34"> ”乔治·凯雷斯福特。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">对安吉拉而言，恐怕再没有哪封信能比这封更令她心满意足了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“皮格特，”她喊道，感到在喜悦中绝对需要一个知己，并忘记了那个可敬的灵魂对乔治’s追求只有最一般的了解，“他已经放弃我了；想想看，他打算让我一个人待着了。我宣布，我现在觉得他挺可爱的。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“您说的是谁呢，小姐？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，当然是我的表兄George；我告诉你，他会让我一个人待着的。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“既然他连用火钳碰你都不配，小姐，那他至少该做点啥，至于别打扰你，我可没听说过他打算做别的。不过，小姐，这倒让我想起来了——虽然我实在不明白为啥会这样——霍金斯太太，就是在弗雷泽牧师外出期间被安排照看牧师住所的那位，昨晚告诉我她收到了一封电报，她说那电报一瞧就让她晕乎乎的，脸色变得跟电报封面一样黄，更别提那四先令六便士的邮费了，不过她打算向牧师要回来——天啊，我说到哪儿了？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"我确实不知道，皮戈特，但我想你是要告诉我电报里写了什么。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">"是的，小姐，您说得对；可我这脑袋确实时不时像塞了羊毛似的，简直要连路都认不清了。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“喂，Pigott，电报里是什么？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“天啊，小姐，您怎么这么急着催人，抱歉；只是弗雷泽牧师——霍金斯夫人说那不可能是真的，因为那些词根本不是他写的，也不像，因为她有充分理由知道，鉴于那——”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"是的，但弗雷泽先生呢，皮戈特？他身体不舒服吗？"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“电报没有说明，据我所记，小姐；天哪，我忘了是今天还是明天。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"噢，皮戈特，"安吉拉呻吟着说，"求求你告诉我电报上说了什么内容。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，小姐，我肯定告诉过你那东西说的话，尽管我认为它可能有误 — —”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“什么？” Angela几乎喊了出来。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，弗雷泽牧师会乘中午的火车回家，并且想吃牛排当午餐，然而没有提到任何关于洋葱的事，这让某某夫人非常困惑。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"噢，我真高兴；你之前怎么不告诉我呢？乔治表兄被打发走了，弗雷泽先生也要回来。哎呀，事情又变得光明起来了；至少如果亚瑟在这儿就完美了，"她的欢喜之情最终却化为一声叹息。</p>
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+<p class="p34">安吉拉估摸着他应该吃完了牛排——不管有没有洋葱，便走向牧师住所，带着往日那种愉快热忱突然造访了弗雷泽先生。她不待通报就跑到他跟前，紧紧握住他的双手。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“所以，你终于回来了？你离开了好久啊。哦，</p>
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+<p class="p34">见到你真是太高兴了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">她注意到，弗雷泽先生自离开后似乎苍老了些。他先是微微泛红，继而面色转白，说道：</p>
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+<p class="p34">"是啊安吉拉，我又回到这间老铺子啦。你能这么快来看我真是太好了。来，坐下跟我聊聊你的近况，我正好继续收拾行李。不过天啊，亲爱的你这是怎么了？看着消瘦又闷闷不乐的——你的笑容都去哪儿了，安吉拉？"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“别管我了，你得先说说你自己的事。这几个月你都去哪儿了？在忙些什么？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"噢，我已在半个文明世界逍遥快活过啦，"他带着几分强颜欢笑答道，"瑞士、意大利、西班牙都因我的到访增色不少。不过终究是倦了，这才回到属于自己的天地。能重见这些亲切的老面孔，当真令人欣喜。"说着他指了指满架的经典藏书。"现在该听听你的近况了，安吉拉。说真的，我可厌倦透了自己。"</p>
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+<p class="p34">“哦，我的故事很长，你恐怕没耐心听下去。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“啊，我看你脸上有故事；那么我想我能猜到是什么了。年轻女士们的故事通常都围绕着同一个轴心，”他轻轻地笑了笑，然后在一个光线昏暗的角落里坐了下来。“现在，亲爱的，我准备好给你最好的关注了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">安吉拉的脸颊绯红，她专注地望着窗外，开始带着许多犹豫讲述她的故事。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“嗯，弗雷泽先生，首先你必须明白 — 我的意思是，你知道，我必须告诉你 —” 绝望地， “我订婚了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“啊!”</p>
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+<p class="p34">这声惊呼来得如此尖利而猝然，</p>
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+<p class="p34">安吉拉迅速转过身来。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“怎么了，你受伤了吗？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“是的；但继续，Angela。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">这是个令人难以启齿的故事，特别是涉及乔治的纠葛部分。她深知若对旁人倾诉定会难以启齿，但面对弗雷泽先生时，她确信能找到知音。倘若她知晓——仅仅是提及爱人的名字就刺痛了听者的心房，而自己每句刻骨铭心的情话、每声缠绵悱恻的呢喃都化作新颖而精巧的酷刑——她恐怕会窘迫不堪。</p>
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+<p class="p34">事实正是如此。尽管年届五十，弗拉泽先生对安吉拉的教育并非毫无代价。任何心未化石的赤诚之人，若与安吉拉这样的女子朝夕相处，都必将付出他此刻承受的代价。她的美丽打动了他对美的感知，她的善良触动了他的心弦，她的学识唤起了他知性的共鸣。他在潜移默化中爱上她实属必然——若不曾动心，反倒奇怪了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">然而，读者不必担心；他不会受到关于弗雷泽先生不幸遭遇的冗长叙述的烦扰，因为它从未曝光，也未曾强加于世，甚至未曾影响其对象。他的激情属于那种真挚、隐秘且自我牺牲的类型，如果我们知道的话，其实在我们周围有很多这样的激情；这些激情表面上看毫无目的、完全无目标，除非是为了让承受者比原本少一些快乐，或多一些痛苦——视情况而定。为了努力克服这种在他心中称为不光彩的激情，弗雷泽先生离开了安吉拉，远赴海外；在那里，他与之搏斗，祈祷对抗它，最后，他以为自己制服了它。但现在，在第一次见到她时，激情以昔日的力量重新升起，如风暴般席卷他的身心；他意识到，这样的爱是不会消亡的。或许，问题在于他是否真的希望失去它。它虽然贫乏，非常贫乏，但却是他自己的。在所有真爱中，都有某种神圣的东西，潜伏在我们大多数人内心深处的一种信念是：爱总比不爱好，无论我们承受多少痛苦。也许，归根结底，真正值得同情的是那些无法感受任何此类情感的人。</p>
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+<p class="p34">那个秋日的午后，当安吉拉倾诉着他人对她的爱恋以及自己深切的回应时，弗雷泽先生所承受的痛苦，除他本人外无人知晓。但他依然倾听着，未曾动摇那颗赤诚之心，反而尽力安慰她，给予能力范围内最恳切的建议——正如他这位高尚的基督徒绅士的为人；更向她阐明无需过度忧虑，种种迹象表明此事必将迎来圆满结局。世间犹存殉道者般的克己精神。</p>
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+<p class="p34">最后安吉拉拿出了当天早晨刚收到的那封乔治寄来的信。弗雷泽先生仔细读了起来。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“无论如何,” 他说, “他现在表现得像个绅士。总的来说，那是一封不错的信。你再也不会被他烦扰了。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"是啊，"安吉拉答道，想起小路上乔治那番争辩不由得脸红了，"可他早该这么做了！他真不该——噢，他真不该那样跟我说话，年纪大得足以当我父亲的人！"</p>
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+<p class="p34">弗雷泽先生苍白的脸颊微微泛红了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“别因为人家年纪大就对他刻薄，安吉拉——顺便说一句他并不老，比我还小十岁呢——要我说，老头子和小伙子一样，见了漂亮脸蛋照样会被迷昏了头。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">从那一刻起，由于同病相怜的心理，弗雷泽先生虽不知此人真实品性，却对乔治的遭遇暗怀同情。他觉得自己完全能理解一个男人为赢得安吉拉会做到何等程度——倒不是说他本人会这么做，可他深知这种诱惑的分量，也明白抵抗这种诱惑要付出多大代价。</p>
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+<p class="p34">当天几乎完全黑了时，安吉拉终于起身告辞。她热情地紧握他的手，以自己温柔的方式感谢他的善意与体贴建议。随后她婉拒了护送的好意，说明日会再来探望，便独自踏上归途。</p>
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+<p class="p34">在修道院宅邸的门厅桌子上，映入她眼帘的第一样东西是一张写给她的便条，笔迹是她曾在许多洗衣账单上见过的，但从未在信封上出现过。她带着模糊的惊恐打开了它。内容如下：</p>
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+<p class="p34">"小姐——您父亲刚辞退了我，说他太穷了没法再留我，这事我自有看法；又说我不配跟您这样有学问的人相处，这话倒半点不假。可小姐啊，亲手把您拉扯大，服侍了这么多年，我实在没勇气当面跟您道别，只好冒昧写信说声珍重。愿上帝保佑您，我美丽的小天使。我会住在老地方，就在矿道尽头那间我苦命丈夫留下的屋子——幸好那儿还空着。或许您有时会来看看我吧，小姐。</p>
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+<p class="p34"> ”您忠实的仆人，</p>
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+<p class="p34"> ”皮戈特。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我再次写信是想说，在我离开前，我把你的东西收拾了一下，而我自己的东西留到明天；如果我活着，我会派人来取。请原谅，小姐，你会发现你的干净睡衣在左手抽屉里，我很抱歉不能在那里为你铺好。我将冒昧派人来取你的洗衣物，因为不能信任任何人。”</p>
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+<p class="p34">安吉拉读完了信，然后倒在椅子上，泪如雨下。然而，她稍微缓过神来后，站起来走进了她父亲的书房。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“这是真的吗？”她问道，还在哭泣。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“什么是真的？”菲利普冷漠地问道，假装没看到她的痛苦。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“你已经把Pigott送走了吗？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“是的，是的，你看，Angela — —”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“你是说，她真的不来了？”</p>
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+<p class="p34">“我当然知道，我真的必须被允许，安吉拉— —”</p>
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+<p class="p34">"原谅我，父亲，但我不想听您的理由和借口。"此刻她的眼中已毫无泪意，"那个女人照顾了我临终的母亲，对我而言如同母亲。您知道，她是我唯一的女性朋友，可您却像丢弃穿破的鞋子般抛弃她。您自然有您的道理，但愿这些道理能让您心安理得——但我要告诉您，不管什么理由，您的所作所为就是懦弱又残忍！"她愤怒地瞪了父亲一眼，摔门而去。</p>
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+<p class="p34">菲利普在女儿的愤怒面前畏缩了。</p>
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+<p class="p34">“谢天谢地她走了，那个工作也结束了。我真是怕她，最糟糕的是她说的是实话,” 菲利普自言自语道，当门关上时。</p>
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+<p class="p34">这事过去十天后，安吉拉偶然从弗雷泽先生那里听说，约翰爵士和贝尔米夫人准备去国外短期旅行，以便约翰爵士调养身体。就算她想到了这事，心里反而有点高兴。安吉拉实在不喜欢贝尔米夫人，说真的还有些怕她。至于乔治，她既没听到他的消息也没见到人影——原来他也离开了。</p>
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